Update #1

Life has becoming better lately. Well, at least i perceive it to be so. Reason? Haha it could be as simple as the decrease in temperature. It has been dropping from the unusual 45 degree celcius to 27 now.

Weekend?A lovely one with packed programs. I LOVE being busy. We had a farewell dinner for Yiwen, Wanchee and Peiru on the Saturday night with 26 of us. Had our first try of lasertag in a group of 18 and it feels sooooo good to sweat again. Sweating reminds me that i am still alive.

#1 Lasertag group photo at Market City

And i had my first canoe experience at Kangaroo Valley.It's a 2 to 3 hours drive from Kingsford. Had carsick but overall was alright, though it was quite exhausting to canoe hahaha. What a way to feel so close to nature.Despite there were lots of flies everywhere because it's summer time, we still manage to breathe in some real fresh air.

#Canoe group photo at Kangaroo Valley. 

Today? It's my first official working day as a counter serving staff at Breadtop YAY i got hired :D The job scope of counter serving staff is not merely standing at the counter to wait for the customers or to serve customers by giving them the bread that they want. HAHAHA. In fact, i need to help in packing buns into plastic bags, refilling breads, cleaning trays and tongs, making teas, cleaning windows etc. In someway it makes me feels like 打杂 but yeah, this is life. We need to look forward and move on. Instead, i am enjoying what i am doing so far though supervisor keep on asking me to work on my efficiency.Everything need to be done in 3 words. Fast, Fast and FAST.Well, it's time to be serious on my personal efficiency too.

I am doing well these days, mentally and still working on the physical part haha. Big thanks and hugs to my best friends and dearest mom for being a good listener and stand by me no matter what happens. Thanks for giving me full supports and makes me regain the courage to face the negativity and move on with life. I feel thankful to be loved and cared with sincerity by all of you who make difference to my life.You know who you are. I guess i am just afraid of uncertainties and fear has been following me for many years of my life.

It's time to open my heart and learn the way on conquering fear.

Fear of mistakes, of uncertainties and fear of facing failures.

A good recent example would be making decision on whether i should stay in Australia or go back to M'sia for good.

'What if i can't find a job here and regret on my choice one day later?' fear said.

'But what if i don't?' said wisdom. 

'What if i got hurt and got no returns for how much i give in this relationship?'fear said.

'But what if i don't?' said wisdom. 

Focus is the key. 

Always be reminded that we should not focus too much on fear- the unfortunate possibilities. 

And this is how we can gain the freedom from fear. 

This is how i can work on gaining courage to face uncertainties. 

Thanks for the inspiring story, Ajahn Brahm. 

Have a lovely Monday and don't paint it blue, because you do have a choice.