Self Reflecting

I’ve always been classified as a ‘blurred’ person by friends around, because I always missed out things mentioned in conversations. My mind slipped away so easily that I thought it was really okay for me to take a break from what was happening right at that moment. I allowed myself to be really lazy and stared into empty space, where there was nothing in mind, blanked, like really blanked and emptied. I will be honest that I really enjoyed that moment.

But what’s wrong with this?

Nobody really told me what’s wrong with this. It may be a wrong thing to do, or it may be nothing wrong at all. I have been told that I am a really’ blurred’ person as if there are always a lot of question marks written on my face most of the time. And I thought, well it’s okay if people classified me in this way, because I don’t really care, because I am just so lazy to be aware of what is going on in front of me.

But then, I didn’t really understand what does it mean by ‘your presence is more than enough to me’, until not long ago. Nothing particular happened, nothing special that led to my further understanding on this sentence and it’s just like a button that has been off for the past of my life and it suddenly got turn on so that I can comprehend better the meaning of it. Isn’t it true? There are a lot of things in life that we thought we knew well; in fact we don’t know a lot of things.

I started to appreciate good listeners. I feel really thankful when friends are willing to put their phones aside, just to listen to what I want to say. Listening in this sense is active listening, where as they look into my eyes, giving me their attentions, and processed what I have said. It doesn’t really matter if they understand my words eventually but the effort of trying to understand is something that I couldn’t ask for more.

‘Did you get what I mean?’ ‘Are you listening to me?’

‘Yes I am. You can continue with it’. * and then continue to busy playing games or scrolling up and down on the phone screen.

How many times that we were busy swiping on phone screens when we were spending time with people that were physically with us at that moment of time?

Do you really think that you are active listening but not merely listening?

Some would probably have the perception that they could be really good at multitasking. Yes, it is possible. But to me, I never believe that 100% of concentration could be given in listening when you are busy swiping your phone, playing games, refreshing your social media pages and etc.

Being present with people is more than just being there physically with them. It involves presence in terms of mind. It seemed to be a tiny little thing that wouldn’t matter much but rather it is a simple generous and selfless action of giving. To lend them our ears; look into their eyes to show them that you are really being present with them at that moment; to let them know that they are not alone, be it to share their happiness or to bear their sorrows. Listening without applying own judgment and trying to understand could be the easiest thing that we can give when they are in need of these. It is unconditional that you are not trying to gain anything in return but genuinely offering your companion to them.

I am not sure how well can I do this, but it is always good to remind myself on this, just because people are forgetful. We often see the issues that we are dealing with are bigger than others. How true could this be? Till we have a clearer mind and a lighter heart, we often tend to magnify our own problems and desires, unintentionally neglecting others.

So next time, when you are meeting up a friend and listening to her/him, maybe just try to put your phone aside, enjoy the moment of being there with them, like really be there. That’s the whole point of meeting up. And you never know how much it means to them.

Heheh this is actually a post to remind myself!

Have a good day.